Showing posts with label probably makes you look worse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label probably makes you look worse. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Systematic Tomfoolery




After Kelly Bensimone's meltdown in the Virgin Islands I thought it was in bad taste to make fun of her because she is clearly not mentally stable and it's not right to make fun of someone in that position. I've never really liked Kelly, she seems like a spoiled bitch. Originally, I thought Kelly had a Rx pill popping problem. Then I thought maybe she had Asperger's because she is the most awkward person on TV. Then I thought maybe she had some sort of psychological disorder. I was under the impression she needed professional help. Now after seeing her on the reunion show, I just think she absolutely sucks and plays dumb as a defense mechanism. I'm leaning toward thinking she's a stupid asshole.




Andy Cohen basically put the smack down on Ramona and Bethenny's interruptions so Kelly could voice her side of the story. Then she vehemently insisted that Bravo "forced" her to go on the trip, and tried to infer her agent encouraged her to go, too. With the networks reputation at stake, Andy—the Senior VP of Production and Programming—had to cut her off to tell her that what she was saying was completely untrue. Kelly, wack job that she is, kept insisting that she was, in fact, forced to attend Ramona's girls only vacay. This was uncomfortably debated back and forth for a minute or so. Now, while I am sure the network holds its personalities to contractual obligations, I do not think anyone was forced to go to St John. LuAnn and Jill both did not go on the trip, this indicates that there was no coercion on Bravo's part.



The more she babbles the less sense she makes. It's so frustrating to hear her speak because she makes no sense. None whatsoever. It's got to be infuriating to the people who are obligated to be on TV with her.



Moreover, she's one of those women who whines like a little bitch when things aren't going her way. She pretends to be innocent and shy and attacked all the time. What's worse is she's one of those infuriating women who brags about not wanting to be friends with woman, like that's a good thing.



Oh oh! Despite being a misogynist, she keeps saying that she expects the other women to "celebrate who she is." Ehh, what does that mean? Basically she wants to be the center of attention, but really has no way to grab the attention because the demographic for this show isn't "straight men who think she's hot."



I happen to be Bravo's target demographic for this show, so allow me to fix the mess they've created.

1. Kelly & Danielle Staub need to go. They need to protect their inevitably screwed up children, these shows are getting a little too TLC Intervention for my taste.

2. Hold back on the psychosis a bit. No one is really watching the show to see complete psychotic breakdowns from deranged sociopaths or really haggard and tawdry stripper pole antics starring someones 50 year old mother.

3. Get Dina back into rotation.



4. Give Ramona and Sonja their own show and spin it like a real life AbFab. This certainly doesn't seem difficult to accomplish, as they have very vibrant, nutty personalities anyways. They are the most entertaining two and definitely are the best to watch.



"Turtle time..."





Kelly, I know you're reading this, why wouldn't you be? If you don't like the position you're put in on the show, by all means, LEAVE! Do us all a favor.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Cupcake Shop has a "bad day," calls customer a "fat c***"



Maybe they shouldn't be charging $8 for a G.D. cupcake! Crumb, a North Carolina bakery, referred to a customer who was offended by the shop's tag line "So Good It'll Make Fat People Cry" a 'fat cunt' on their Twitter account.

Needless to say, some people found this offensive and complained, sparking backlash chatter across the interwebs.


A lame apology was issued once the shit hit the fan:

Regarding our slogan, let us begin by apologizing to you, Diana, and everyone else we have offended. This was never our intention. The tag line was meant as a joke and nothing more. We never meant to hurt anyone. The tag line is no longer in use and the tweets you found offensive have been removed.

Today, even before all of this happened, was a really bad day for both of us. The stress of opening a small business and dealing with all the details has been getting to us. None of this is fair to you, but it’s the truth and we owe you that.

Please forgive our insensitivity. We are truly sorry.

Sincerely,
Carrie and David



I'm more offended by how un-clever the slogan is. It makes no sense whatsoever and it's boring. You'd think the cupcakes would make fat people ecstatic. I think the only thing about this bakery's cupcakes that will make you cry is that apparently they cost $8.

Lame.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Somebody is very mad at Kobe

I can't stop looking at these incredible pictures of Kobe Bryant! They make no sense and yet I am plagued with questions!



Who the heck did Kobe piss off? Was it just the stylist that day or is there something deeper here? Was he trying to channel Grace Jones or was that accidental?



Oh, but there is more....






My theory is that whoever produced the initial photo shoot was avenging the alleged rape of Aunt Grace:


Monday, May 17, 2010

Pardon me, do you have any Jizz?


Fugly trend alert!

I will never forget the looks of disgust I received many years ago when I described the color of a dress that I'd be wearing in an upcoming wedding as "the color of semen." My roommates boyfriend suggested I used the word 'pearl' instead when describing the taffeta dress in the future, and I learned my lesson.

Bleach Black has not learned the lesson! The company decided to cash in on the appeal (?) of this marvelous color and has produced a milky white nail color called "Jizz." While I admire the audacity of the name choice (it's better than the not so subtle lipstick color "Wet Kitty" by Vincent Longo from a few years back) I am grossed out by the actual nail color. I don't think it'll look attractive on anyone, even olive skin tones.

I wonder why they didn't create a corresponding lip color?