Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learneded to Stop Shit Talking and Ambivalently Tolerate Taylor Momsen

So the "surprise" face of Madonna & Lourdes Maria's clothing line, Material Girl, is Taylor Momsen. The hints that were dropped over who it would be were supposed to be um, well, hints, or something, but they were actually pretty blatant and obviously geared towards Momsen. WWD hinted the spokes model was "on a hit teen drama series and is known for her frayed, rocker-tinged style off-screen." Oh gee, that doesn't exactly scream Shanae Grimes, does it?

I think Madonna's camp was on point with this pr stunt. The whole Who's-That-Girl going to be scheme regarding Momsen's identity was probably cleverly calculated. Taylor Momsen gets more attention than most teenage celebs out there right now, and I think without the buzz of her being attached to the project, I don't think anyone would really care about Madonna's clothing line. I can't remember the last time her fashion sense was relevant. If I had to wager a guess I'd say her Blonde Ambition/Like A Virgin era was the last time she was styled well, and coincidentally that's the exact look Taylor Momsen emulates.

It's too bad Lourdes Maria isn't in the spotlight more. Madonna has her in check. Lourdes is adorable and pretty and could probably be a major starlet if she wasn't raised with these restrictions:

Above: the rules for child visitation rights Guy Richie must adhere to when his kids see him according to Madonna


Anyway, back to Momsen.




I read a lot of pop culture blogs/gossip websites and Taylor Momsen is pretty much hated by the readers who take the time to post comments about how much they can't stand her. I don't have a solid opinion of her, really. However, in three short seasons of Gossip Girl, her character of Jenny went from being the most awful little snot on the screen to the only person on the entire show I didn't want to kick repeatedly in the crotch, so she has that going for her. Also, popular criticism of her is that she smokes (gasp!) and dresses like a Cherie Currie/Courtney Love hybrid. The latter just annoys me. I firmly believe that if The Runaways hadn't just come out, 95% of blog commentators would have no clue who the hell Cherie Currie was. And since I have known who she was since I was 16, I feel more entitled than those people.



However, even though I get more annoyed by Taylor's haters than I do by Taylor, it's easy to pick on her when she is known for saying some really bonehead things during interviews... like this tidbit when asked about the earthquake in Haiti this past Januaray:

"Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that."

Added Taylor, “But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know working towards a good cause.”


The next quote is actually one I agree with completely almost completely. Apparently Taylor doesn't like to be compared to Miley Cyrus:


"I’m not looking to be Miley fucking Cyrus. I don’t care about the fame. I do it because I love music. I like making records and if people like them, then we’ll go along for the ride. ... I’m not dissing Miley personally. However, I do think the Disney bubblegum shit that the world is living right now is pathetic. I thought we passed that repression. I don’t know Miley, but musically we’re different. To compare us because of our age is silly."

Oh Taylor. Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Don't use big words you don't understand. Recording bubblegum top 40 pop music is hardly repression. And Miley is sort of doing her own thing these days to distance herself from the Disney image. Also, you'd sound more convincing and less like a little girl trying to sound mature if you didn't swear so much when the press is getting quotes from you. I couldn't care any less that you have the mouth of a drunken sailor, but it's pretty obvious thoughtless quotes like these fuel the fire of your haters.

Not that I think you even remotely care.




Usually when I see pictures of her, I think she looks good. But before I defend her slightly, I have one tangent I need to go off on...




These shoes. I don't hate them on her as much as I hate the fact that they exist. Stripper Chic is a style I will never get behind. The stripper shoe rage hit the runway last fall big time. Lanvin has plexiglass stripper shoes. Prada has plexiglass stripper heels. Fendi has them (holy hell, while searching for designer stripper heels I found these, and hello, I love them. Overt and over the top, yes, but I am a sucker for tulle) and I am sure a billion other designers has them. I find this laughable. I doubt any woman who would wear these would ever entertain the idea of actually becoming a stripper, but buying some cheap hooker heel from BeBe or the Jessica Simpson line from Victoria's Secret is not at all out of the question. These are the same kind of chicks who claim pole dancing is something they want to try because "it's great exercise." Uh, so is yoga, and yoga merely requires you to stretch and breathe simultaneously, not have a pole installed in your house.


I take it back. Taylor Momsen wearing stripper heels with crumpled up dollar bills in the "tips" toe annoys the shit out of me. She's 16 and she looks absolutely idiotic.



I don't agree with teenage celebrities developing a striper girl personae in order to segue in to adulthood, but I do understand being 17 and saying completely ridiculous things that I thought sounded provocative when I was growing up.

What I agree with even less is how she gets trashed so much on the internet. The most common insult hurled at her is that she is "trying to be different" when she isn't. Well, I dare you to find one quote of hers where she makes this claim. Not only that, there is nothing different about her look. Maybe if she dressed like a wench at a Renaissance Festival and was in to LARPing instead of fronting a rock bad, the whole "trying to be different" claim would make sense. But it doesn't, she's just a teenager who likes to dress like a ho. That's not so different than most little skags I see walking around New York City.

Taylor Momsen is 17. She may be a little wanna-be Courtney Love lookalike, she may say retarded things to the press, but she's a teenager. If there is any time she is supposed to be making mistakes and learning from them, it's now. Plus, she is legitimately making some pretty decent music. I don't expect celebrities to be saints because they're in the spotlight. I do think they should be talented in their craft though, and as far as singing goes, I think she does that really well.

Decide for yourselves...

5 Things I'm Perplexed By Today

Alright, here are 5 things I am marveling at today.

1. This tumblr account. I have no exposure to The Bieb at all, in fact, I had no clue who he was until all the obsessive hatred toward The Bieb began on Facebook, etc. Point being, he doesn't really bother me, I blame his publicist and his manager. I always knew that The Bieb had an oddly familiar hair-cut and now I know why! He's channeling full-on bull dyke.

2. People forgetting that Tom Cruise is a hot mess who called Matt Lauer "glib" and bashed Brooke Shields for promoting anti-d's while speaking out on PPD (even more shocking-- I found the "glib" clip on YouTube and after re-watching it for the first time in several years I agree with a LOT of what Tom Cruise is saying. I read this book recently and I agree with almost all of what he is saying....Tom Cruise! I can't believe it!)

I'm hip to his game. He took a few years off of being in the spotlight after his public berzerker fest, and then he got that bit role in Tropic Thunder. And everyyyyone thought he was soooooo funny. So last night, we got this:



But I'm not falling it for it, Tom. I'll never forget who you really are:




3. The fact that I missed out on a Sweet Valley High jackpot.



I went to a carnival in Cedar Grove yesterday and walked by this table of books. They had half a dozen Sweet Valley High's. I shoulda bought some. I am kicking myself!

4. Now, I know mega-genuis Kelly Bensimon wouldn't approve because she had time to create this video last week to speak out against systematic bullying...



BUT I am totally gloating over this tidbit that hit the blogs yesterday after that bitch Jill Zarin posted on her Facebook that her home address was posted and she has been receiving threats and hate mail from "haters." Under normal circumstances I would be really grossed out. Over the last few years several stories regarding bullying and cyber-bashing have surfaced in the media, all of them resulting in the deaths of teenagers. But this is different altogether. Jill Zarin doesn't necessarily deserve the hate mail being sent to her home, but she put herself out there like a raging bitch, on film no less. People are responding.

I feel like throwing this in here for the hell of it.



5. Miley Cyrus in full-on baby whore mode.



She's still a minor with a Disney contract, right? Who on earth is seeing her in concert?

Cheap Hooker, Cheap Trick, same diff.

She said it, we didn't.