Finger, Throat, Barf

Dude, I get it. I get that women have historically had a hard time achieving emotional independence and self-actualization due to the sexist nature of society. But at the very least, women should kinda sorta try out that whole autonomy thing a little bit before they get married, or, seriously involved in a relationship that they’re not emotionally mature enough to handle. Just a thought.

Then we get that pile of garbage Eat Pray Love.



No, I never read the book so I can't say for sure if it's the worst memoir ever written, but my hunch is that is sucks. I did watch the memoir's author, that self absorbed Elizabeth Gilbert, give a speech at the TED conference and it was easily one of the worst videos I have ever watched. I'll share it with you here so you too can wonder how you can get those 19 minutes back.

From what I've been told, Eat Pray Love is the true story of Elizabeth Gilbert, and it's about her journey as a confused self involved wife who leaves her husband to go on a god damned vacation in search of herself. So naturally Julia Roberts is the perfect choice to play her in the movie.




LOVE the poster. It features Julia Roberts impishly enjoying some dick ice cream on an Italian park bench because she is finding herself, while some nuns also enjoy ice cream, probably because the word PRAY is in the title. By jove you've done it again, Poster Masters.


Apparently I am not the only one around here who thinks this movie looks completely unbearable. Someone else out there fixed the poster to recreate what sort of image this movie really portrays, someone else has the keen observation skills like me (don't you dig my writing skills? I'm like Elizabeth Gilbert! Bad at writing and obsessed with myself!) Well done:



Also, I am not sure if this is real or not, but this book (while probably equally self-involved) sounds more entertaining:

Somebody is very mad at Kobe

I can't stop looking at these incredible pictures of Kobe Bryant! They make no sense and yet I am plagued with questions!



Who the heck did Kobe piss off? Was it just the stylist that day or is there something deeper here? Was he trying to channel Grace Jones or was that accidental?



Oh, but there is more....






My theory is that whoever produced the initial photo shoot was avenging the alleged rape of Aunt Grace:

Pardon me, do you have any Jizz?

Fugly trend alert!

I will never forget the looks of disgust I received many years ago when I described the color of a dress that I'd be wearing in an upcoming wedding as "the color of semen." My roommates boyfriend suggested I used the word 'pearl' instead when describing the taffeta dress in the future, and I learned my lesson.

Bleach Black has not learned the lesson! The company decided to cash in on the appeal (?) of this marvelous color and has produced a milky white nail color called "Jizz." While I admire the audacity of the name choice (it's better than the not so subtle lipstick color "Wet Kitty" by Vincent Longo from a few years back) I am grossed out by the actual nail color. I don't think it'll look attractive on anyone, even olive skin tones.

I wonder why they didn't create a corresponding lip color?